The Mythical and Dangerous Game of Frisbee

And I thought I would have nothing to write about today.

Today’s adventures consisted of: The Quest for the Certificat Medical

It started off like any other of my ventures from these past two weeks: heading out of my building into the cold January air, noting the still overcast skies above, and setting forth towards my destination, passing pedestrians, dogs, motorcycles, and dashing across busy streets. I have learned my way around at this point, and am able to find the building I am looking for without a map. Indeed, I don’t think I could have missed it. It was one of the University buildings, and it had no other word for it than immense. I had an appointment with the school’s doctor at 14h30 (2:30PM) for un certificat medical, which I needed to give to the Association Sportive at Sciences Po in order to join the Ultimate Frisbee team, and I arrived at the building without a minute to spare. Now it was just a matter of finding the right office. I wandered about until I found a sign that looked promising, and I scaled the staircase until I reached the top, at the 6^th floor. I found myself in a fairly deserted hallway, looking more academic than medical. I realized I had brought myself to the offices of the medical school, not the doctor. I took the elevator this time to the Rez-de-chaussée  (ground floor) to start again. I found a smaller, more useful sign pointing me to the first floor. I reached a small office and adjoining waiting room, with smiling receptionists. This looked more promising.

I greeted them and said I had an appointment for 14h30 (though at this point I was running 15 minutes late due to getting lost). They found my name and asked for my student ID card. I told them I don’t have it yet because I’m an exchange student, and the told me not to worry, they would see me anyway. I received a clipboard and pen, and was directed to a bench with some other students to fill out a form and wait.

I have done this many times before, just… not in French. Seeing me struggle with some of the more obscure vocabulary, one of the students kindly assisted me in translating the form.

I was called up promptly, and brought to one of the examining rooms. This doctor seemed to be in his mid sixties, though he spoke kindly and when he asked me questions. Then we came to the question of what sport I play.

« Et vous jouez quel sport? »

« C’est l’Ultimate. »

« Quel sport ? »

« L’Ultimate Frisbee. C’est à Sciences Po, j’ai une carte ici avec mon nom ; c’est un vrai sport. »

 He hadn’t heard of it. He asked me to write it down for him. He walked out of the room for a moment, then came back and said,

« On ne peut pas vous voir ici, c’est un sport très violent, vous avez besoin à aller à une autre adresse. »

Ultimate? Violent? Well, I mean I guess it can get a bit extreme. I’ve seen a few concussions, plenty of twisted ankles and shin splints, and more bruises than I can count, but is it really more violent than say, soccer?

I was brought to the front desk and given a new address and number where I should be seen. I couldn’t believe this. The receptionists sounded curious; what sort of sport could I be playing that was so dangerous? I tried to explain Frisbee to them, saying it was sort of like soccer (football), but with a Frisbee. I said I couldn’t understand why he said it was dangerous. Though it can be extreme, I had never been injured. They looked apologetic as they bid me to go.

I left the building heading home, shaking my head in frustration.

Why? Seriously? Violent?

It was just as I was leaving the block that my new French cell started to ring. I answered it, but couldn’t really understand what they were saying on the other end, and I told them so. They switched the phone to someone who spoke English.

“Hello, you just came up for un certificat medical for a sport?”

“Yes.”

“I think there has been a mistake, the doctor thought you meant Ultimate Fighting, not Frisbee.”

Oh wow, no wonder.

“Have you gone far?”

“No, I’m right outside.”

“Okay, could you come back up?”

“Sure.” Then I hung up.

No wonder they didn’t want to see me before! They thought I was doing, I don’t know, boxing, or wrestling, or I don’t know what.

I came back up and spoke to the man from the phone. He reiterated what he said before, and apologized for the confusion. As I filled out the clipboard form again, he asked me curiously, what IS Ultimate? Was this a sport at Sciences Po?

I said it was, and that it might be a new sport here this year, but that it definitely was not a new sport. I explained that it is sort of like football, but with a Frisbee.

“Or handball.” Said one of my friends from the Welcome program on the bench next to me.

The same doctor brought me back to his office, and the appointment went smoothly from there. I received my certificat medical, and left the building smiling to myself.

I taught French doctors about Frisbee, what did YOU do today?

I brought the form to the Association Sportive office at Sciences Po, and headed for home, quest complete.

À Bientôt!